she wore a diamond necklace
woven around her neck
and on her wrists were diamond bracelets
and her fingers held her diamond wedding ring.

she wore an evening dress
her hair down and curled
her face brushed with makeup
and her feet dressed in heels.

she sat alone in the dark
her soft brown eyes on the screen
not seeing
not hearing.

instead she saw images of her own life
up on the screen
taking place of the actors
showing memories
that she wished she did not remember.

she saw her husband
wasted away and drunk
calling out to her
making her come to him.

she saw all her many children
all lost
because she could not hold them in
long enough.

she saw the many days in the dark house
all alone
waiting
for her husband
whom she knew
was elsewhere.

as the credits rolled
down the screen
and people walked out of the theatre
watching her as they went past
she stared into space
chased by her own thoughts.

the people passing by
wondered
why was this old woman
dressed up
and alone
in a movie theatre?

when everyone was past
and gone
she stood up mechanically
clutching her white purse to her side
her legs wobbly
her cheeks wet with tears
her mascara streaking down her face.

and as she drove home
she decided she could not live with the memories
she could not live with them anymore
she could not handle them

and so when she got home
she took some rope
and a knife
and she tossed her shoes in the corner
and she screamed at the pictures
that hung on the wall

and she danced in the kitchen
and she played the record
that she'd danced to at her wedding
and she looked out the window
her tears streaking down her cheeks
as she stared out at the sky
so perfect and blue.

and she stared at the door
that he'd walked out so many times
leaving to go to other women
never caring
about how she felt.

and when he found her
she still wore the diamond necklace around her neck
but it was accompanied by the rope
woven
around her pale neck.

and her wrists
hanging off the shower rod
with the pretty diamond bracelets
were cut and ripped
blood staining the diamonds.

and her fingers still wore her diamond rings
but they looked so small
compared
to her white, puffy
fingers.

and she still wore her evening dress
but it was littered with red
and the red dripped
dripped
dripped
onto the floor
her hair matted and disheveled.

and her face was no longer brushed with makeup
and mascara and tears
ran down her face
leaving black trails down her
desperate, sweet face

and her feet were no longer dressed in heels
for they were thrown into the corner
forgotten and abandoned.

but she no longer lived with the memories
and she no longer felt the pain of his hit
and she no longer felt the push of each of her babies
sliding out of her
when they needed to stay in
for just a bit longer.

and she no longer felt
the ache of loneliness
when he was gone
and she no longer felt
the desperation
when she knew he wanted to be with someone else.

and she no longer had to smell
the alcohol
on his lips
when he pulled her against him
his eyes wild
and bloodshot.

she no longer felt
his fingers on her skin
and the bruises on her neck
and the cuts on her face
and the scars
on her heart.