they always say they understand me,
I just wish they could see.
The pain that hurts inside,
it feels like a churning tide.
The rocking of my mind,
mixes with the passing of time.
The screaming vortex of my voices,
they cannot see my choices.
I try to run and hide,
then I find myself on my side.
I try to scream for help,
I end up shriveled and then I yelp.
I keep being daunted,
the laughing is taunting.
I cannot forever control,
the monster inside I hold.
I push away the ones I love and care,
just so they do not have to share.
The pain that I always hold from them,
I want to protect them like a precious gem.
The seething hate inside me that dwells,
just  churns and swells.
I try to let off a controlled stream,
the emotional burning pain makes me want to scream.
I cannot express the pain,
I would rather be hit by a poisoned cane.
The pain is excruciating,
I just wish I was hallucinating.
I try to keep myself hidden,
for anyone to know the true me is forbidden.
I swear I see monstrosities,
I am losing my sanity.
I think I cannot hold out,
I think I would rather drink a stout.
My mind has left my body,
I feel as if I am just a copy.
I keep pondering inside this empty shell,
all I hear is the dull chime of the death bell.

ding,ding,ding,dong repeated over and over,

softer and softer until all i see was black