What is that word

for someone's very sight

detaining your mind

so that they overpower all other thought,

distract your aspect,

make your stomach a mixer of an emotional cocktail,

and spark a fire

that might be metaphorical, inspiring you,

or that might be physical, destroying you?

What is that word

for hanging on someone's every word

as on a precipice ledge,

for meandering in purgatory

when awaiting their response,

for the very sight of their name

striking your chest with a hammer,

and for having your heart caught in a cryogenic stasis

upon every uncertainty of their response?

What is that word

for every small reminder

of someone from whom you are trying

to do nothing but distance yourself 

filling you with equal halves delight and dolor,

fueling both a joyride and a fatal crash,

addressing clichés with disgust and appreciation,

and indulging you with a pleasure

that appears fine but feels too guilty to be?

What is that word

for really losing yourself in someone,

for exploring someone in your mind

like a miner a cave

until your lamp is extinguished,

your way is lost,

and you are left, miles deep inside,

to wander out,

gripping your sides in cold and hunger,

hanging on a wall slick with the milk of human kindness,

and the faintest sign of salvation

burning your dark-drowned pupils?