I try so hard
To hold a grudge
And think about all the wrong you've done
All the tears you've caused.
The mean world and harsh tones.
But then I remember;
None of this happened fast
And it didn't come out of the blue
But really,
I fell head over heels
In love with you
When I was thirteen years old
And you were the one that brought so
Much happiness into my life
Just by always being there
With your smile
With your affection
Your warm tender hugs
And perfect lips
That graze against mine
As our hands intertwine
A perfect fit
A perfect match.
I try to remember that
You broke my heart
Tore it to shreds
Without looking back.
You didn't care
That I cried myself to sleep every night
And I begged you to stay
Pleaded with you
Not to walk away
That I could be better
If you would give me another
Chance
I could change
Into the woman you've always wanted
If you would just give me time
But you got bored.
Seven f****** years,
And you ran my heart into the ground.
Without any remorse.
Without a care in the world.
And I blamed myself,
Because from my point of view,
I failed you.
But then I realized,
I didn't push you away.
Instead, you chose to leave.
To throw away what we had,
What we grew,
What we became.
How could something so strong,
So simple, so original
Have the most cliche ending?
As a text message,
And a "we're better off as friends"
Knowing we would become distant
Acquaintances,
Strangers with memories.
Of the time we would lay together.
So close.
Face to face.
Afraid to make the first move.
Cautious of what acting on our
Hormones would do to our friendship.
And now I sit back, me write this memoir.
Not because I am truly and honestly overjoyed
With the outcome.
If it wasn't for you, if it wasn't for us
I wouldn't have had the courage, the
Strength, or even the idea that I could
Possibly new as happy as I was with you,
With someone else.
To allow myself to fall for another being.
To love and trust them
With all of me.
And now I know, and now I am.
So thank you.