We pulled into the driveway,
Of that old, little, grey, lapeer house
Preparing to say good bye
For the last time,
The last time to feel the warm cozy love that just pours out of that house,
The last time to feel the special love where you know everything will be okay in the end
The last time to feel welcome
The last time to feel protected,
From everything,
This crazy world decides to throw at me.

To say goodbye to the house where I met my best friend Connor
Where we played first played in the cool pool all day long in the hot steamy sun.
We didn’t even know each other
We just played,
Freely.
Just left to do as we please,
We didn't care, honestly we didn't have a care in the world.
But as I have come to realize is thats what friendship actually is.
And I realized it,
In that house
Now,
Its gone forever.

I propped open the car door, you can do it!
Its just a house,
Its fine
At least thats what the logical part of brain said.
But my heart had different opinions.

I took one slow step,
Then two.
On the white cracked pavement, there were dandelions growing in them.
It looked so unkept
So sad

My hallucinations started:
I looked over to the old garden
Where all the flowers grew plentifully,
Blooming into oceans of colorful petals.
When the wind blew softly I could see the tiny little waves that flowed about their leafs
I could see the little frogs that hopped all about the little corner by the entrance.
I could smell the sweet aroma of something delicious cooking,
Just from standing outside the door.
My hillustionations ended:
The flowers were not plentiful,
They were dead,
Destroyed,
Thorney,
Black.
They were dark, they were dreary.
All of the tiny frogs were gone,
Abandoned and left with no home.
It smelled nasty.
No other words to describe; just nasty

I reached for the rusted gold colored door handle
As it squeaks open
My heart just sank,
My mouth dropped all the way down to the floor,
My hands shook,
My eyes filled up with tears-
But I refused to let any of them roll out of my eyes.
I don't cry
ever.

There was absolutely nothing left,
The carpet had been torn out
cabinets emptied and all of the cooking memories have been scrubbed away.
The kitchen is completely clean,
The table where we had made dozens of cakes, candies and pastries is gone
The bedroom with thousands of mirrors is completely empty.

And
Lastly
The saddest fare well i have to say,
The pool.

The gorgeous pool is still full of crystal clear water,
I hopped in with connor
Realizing this is the last time i will ever have a chance to do this,
I went under
Trying to hold my breath as long as possible.
Maybe, just maybe,
Holding my breath will slow down time and i could live in this pool forever
Maybe i could take the pool with me,
Now thats just absurd.
The pool started crying out to me, talking, saying “take me with you.
We can live together forever,
I will be you best friend
No!
You can’t just leave me here alone
You can’t just never come back to me!”
“Allie,
Don't go”
It whispered to me.

I sprung up gasping for air.
Breathing heavily,
Im going insane.

As connor and i slash and play
All of a sudden we see something move on the diving ledge,
A small green amphibian.
A camouflaged toad.
Mr.Squshie.
Mr. Squshie is a toad we had found a few years back
We found him just wandering around in the green
We brought him to the pool to show him things he hasn't seen
In fact he hasn’t seen a lot
For all we know he could have lived in a pot
For all the years hes been around
But we do know hes been safe and sound-
Because after all he alive you see
Alive just like you and me.
We said goodbye to Squshie for one last time,
Honestly that did bring tears to my eyes.
But yet again,
I refuse to cry.
Because crying is a sign of weakness,
A sign that pain demands to be felt,
And you just let it win. 

So as I said one final goodbye
We got in the car.
I realized that maybe the important thing is the memories made.
Not the house
Not the pool.
But the people I’ve met and things that I’ve learned
But to appreciate thing while you have them and don't let things go to waste
For all that we know they are there one day and gone the next.