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Fix Me
August 29, 2014
I want you to trace your fingers
over the scars on my wrist,
and feel every little scratch;
every graze of texture that's not meant to be there.
I want you to shove your fist into my heart
so you can feel my pain-
the intoxicating brokenness,
then the tingling numbness that follows closely behind and engulfs my entire soul.
And then I want you to rip out my brain with your dirty, bare hands
and erase every memory we've ever had,
every kiss we've ever shared,
everything.
Because I'm tired of lingering in the past,
trying so hard to move on,
yet still aching this badly.
© Calvin C., Salt Lake City, UT
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I wrote this a few months back during a very low point in my life involving depression and self-harm. I hope this might help people of the public understand a bit what depression feels like to the ones that suffer from it.