Who am I?
Is who I’m looking at in the mirror really me?
Would I be different if you hadn’t left me?
Would I be happier?

All these questions running through my mind.
Will you ever bless me with the answers,
that I so desperately need?

Why did you leave me?
You never even met me.
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever wonder how I turned out?

It hurts,
all of the different feelings I feel
because of you.
The feeling of abandonment.
The feeling of shame.
The feeling of hatred.
Was I not worthy of your love?

How could you leave your own daughter?

I wish I could say that you don’t affect me.
That you don’t consume my thoughts.
That you don’t make me agonize over the ‘what ifs’
That I have never shed a tear over you.







Sometimes I find myself looking at the only thing I have of you,
a single picture.
As I stare into your piercing green eyes,
I wonder how you could have left.
Left your daughter and her nineteen year old mother.

I wish that it was simple.
That I could just hate you.
That the pain would just go away.

You left me without closure.
To me you are just a sperm donor,
and that is all you will ever be.
You will never be my dad.