I don't want to die, the beat of my heart pumping red through my veins is one I do not wish to stop. You see, I want to live, I do. I simply just don't want to breath. My lungs struggle to inhale and exhale is a struggle not worth it. I also do not posses the desire to move. For me to force my body to go from one place to another seems quite unnecessary. And to continue, I will say, I do not want to eat. Why put things into you when only bad comes out? They say it gives energy but I do not want to breathe nor move, so why do I need energy? I neither want to drink, my gulps insult me and my moist tongue pushes out my mind. I suppose I could go on about what I do not prefer to do but the list gets long - too long to write and my hand would hurt. I do not like pain, it fills me with thoughts. Thoughts of reasons, reasons I don't want to do the things I don't want to do. These reasons are not the fake reasons I pose to my smile but the real reasons with heart of throbbing tears. To avoid such reasons I will end this page and hope, one day I will no longer be forced to do what I don't please.