4:31 a.m. | Teen Ink

4:31 a.m.

July 8, 2014
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


10:02 p.m.
and i swear i've never seen a sky so beautiful,
which whispers to me promises
of cloud-spun dreams
when my head
kisses the
pillow


11:30 p.m.
and though my mum swore nightmares don't come
if you fall asleep before darkness creeps,
still i find myself holding abstract
conversations with the ceiling
and the swirling thoughts
inside


12:04 a.m.
and God had nothing to say to me tonight, so i
am aware of the tears on my cheeks,
long-dried and salty, but i
cannot muster the energy
to wipe them
away


1:45 a.m.
and i think maybe i understand how easy it is
to ignore a wallflower like me, a
bystander in my own life —
everyone else does,
why not
God?


2:27 a.m.
and my wrist seems a little too smooth for someone
so jagged inside; the false pretenses my
skin seem to provoke all the
voices telling me to
let out my
demons


3:59 a.m.
and i know i should just let unconsciousness take me,
but there is too much i'm forced to contemplate —
therefore my heart won't listen when I tell it
"shhh, i'm trying to sleep"; it
can't hear me over my
thoughts


4:31 a.m.
and the ruckus inside has finally come to a denouement,
the antagonist being the victor of my auto-
biography; those whose minds
refuse to rest will always
fall into eternal
slumber



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This article has 2 comments.


on Jun. 21 2015 at 12:49 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

I'm very glad you liked it. It's so hard to try to communicate what it's like to go through depression.

Beila BRONZE said...
on Apr. 17 2015 at 2:23 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Wow. There are not words. This poem is earth-shattering, like anyone who has ever been touched by depression or suicide MUST read this. And of course, everyone else, too. I don't know how you find such right words; it's surreal.


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