Maybe it’s a tragedy
that I didn’t learn the meaning of
unconditional
from the three of them
(mother, father, sister)—
that love was a thing
promised rather than proffered
sworn more often than shown
a word flung at me
from the driver’s seat
on the way to yet another
etiquette class or doctor’s visit
where someone else could take on the burden
of “fixing” me.

Yes, I think it is
a tragedy.

But I’ve been lucky enough to meet
the three of you
(best friend, boyfriend, teacher)
and for thrice in my life experience
unconditional.
Yours is a love
less concerned with self-preservation
than with generosity
less obsessed with dignity
than with care
and I have benefited from every email
every phone call
every “How are you?”
that was prepared to handle an honest answer
and every time you were brave enough
to apologize first.

I have not loved you
as you have loved me.
It has taken me this long to comprehend your
unconditionality
and learning reciprocity may take
another several years.
Though I know you may mind,
I’m certain you won’t leave
because my ability to reciprocate
is not on your
nonexistent list of conditions.
Because
with you
it’s not about
being worthy.