i’ve been holding onto “fine”
like the cover of a book whose
binding has already broken
because i know if i let it go
all my pages will fly away
in the wind

yes, i’ve held my composure
so tight for so long
but i’m about to lose it
screaming a name that’s not
yours and not mine
a name that tugs and
yanks at the corners of my
unaccustomed and accented mouth
a name that could mean
freedom for us both
damnation or
something in between

and i want to hide
in the tendrils of your song
take refuge in the folds of your
narrative but it’s been
too long this time and after days
governed by regulations
neither of us understood and nights
when declarations of love
were all that could be choked out between sobs
and rest
there’s nothing left but to scream
The Name