Hey Steven Julius Ricky Monty of the Rose Ramirez family is that you? I haven’t seen you in ages.
L- What is going on my main man Jim?
Not much. I actually just got engaged to a beautiful woman! And my job isn’t so bad. What about yourself? Still in the undertaking business? How’s the wife, Shelly?
L- Well Jim, it’s not going so well for me. My wife left me for my twin brother but then had a heart attack before she could even apologize. I guess me finding them together shocked her to death. The ambulance didn’t get there in time, which is ironic because Shelly is an ambulance driver. But you know what, Jim, it’s whatever.
Wow that’s tough. At least you still have your family to count on. Did your brother give you the cold shoulder after the Shelly incident or what?
L- He joined a drug cartel, to be honest with you. At least that’s what we assumed when he left for Mexico in the middle of the night and the following week his house was raided.
Oh my god man, how awful. What about the rest of the family? Like your mom and dad. How are they?
L- Dead, both of them. It was a suicide cult. Again that’s kind of funny if you think about it because both of my parents were from Indianapolis and loved the Colts.
Suicide cults do have some convincing arguments. But you’re taking this surprisingly well. I would be in tears and hugging my dog if this happened to me.
L- You would have to do some digging in my case. My dog, rover, is dead too. He got hit by the ambulance that was coming to get my wife.
A-Dang man, it sounds like you had some rough time lately. I'm really glad to see your taking it so well.
L-Well what can you do.
A- I'm really happy for you man, it's rare to see someone in your situation as happy as you. But I guess life's just a collection of good times and bad times, and you just happen to be currently going through some bad times. Yet you know, that if you life will get back to the good times so you can be happy. You're really an inspiration to us all. When faced with hell, you just walk right through it with a smile. Maybe if we took a lesson from you, and just stopped being sad with all the things that get us down in life and just started looking at all we had to be thankful, we could all be a lot happier.
L- Nah, man. I'm actually a sociopath, I don't feel any emotions.
A- Well that would explain the serial killer thing.
L- Hey, nobodies perfect