Caustic | Teen Ink

Caustic

May 20, 2014
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


Your tongue is caustic, felling
men left and
right,
like buildings in the apocalypse
of your affection,
and I cannot fathom the depths
of your blue eyes,
which speak music to the heart
yet drown me in
apathetic
seas.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 7 comments.


on Jun. 4 2014 at 10:46 am
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
that's a good technique, i do that sometimes :) u didn't come across as grumpy, don't worry. glad i helped

on Jun. 3 2014 at 11:05 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

No it's okay! Great criticism, thank you. Actually, a lot of my poems are started off of a single word that I find pretty or interesting, and the word for this one happened to be "caustic" :P. Sorry if I came off as a but grumpy, and thanks for your feedback! I appreciate it.

on Jun. 3 2014 at 11:10 am
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
Ur welcome :) I didn't mean adjectives i just meant sort of... complicated words. they do hold some value (obviously, they're words) but i just find them a bit irrelevant maybe? Sorry i don't mean to be mean.

on Jun. 2 2014 at 8:40 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

There are only 6 adjectives and 3 of them are the word "your". Thanks for reading though :)

on Jun. 2 2014 at 2:59 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
I like the meaning behind this, but I feel like you've kind of put in too many adjectives just because it's a poem? I don't no if it's because i'm simple or something... :) However, I can feel the passion in this and I still really like it :D

on May. 25 2014 at 11:12 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Sure thing (:

on May. 25 2014 at 10:21 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
324 articles 10 photos 1166 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,
More real than solid earth;
And to these death does not mean decay,
But only another birth"
- Isabella Banks



Smith Summer

Parkland Speaks

Campus Compare