your attentive arms would
playfully throw them up into the air
of the populated pool where grandma
and grandpa would sit and watch on
the side lines
grandpa, posing for photos with
faces of friendly acts
the smell of chlorine
clogged ear drums
and nostrils
the kiddy pool was full of
our giddy giggles painted
with the matching
bathing suits of which
we wore
curly haired and curious,
faintly
remembering the joy
of the fake family
love that he smiled with
these tiny moments
are plastered into
your scalp from the barber
that combs your white hair
how does your skin feel inside of these
unfolded, unfortunate disasters that you
caused
is it narrow and useless or
aching and ashamed
to speak the terrifying truth that is screaming
in my bones that break
and break each day as I pass by you
and the white husky
the friendly smile I shed to you
and yours
confused and caught in a jail cell
for you have no idea that this grown girl
was once your niece, who
would sit in your lap calmly and
quietly.
Now I am frantically hurried
by hurt of the motionless stares that
shed no emotion.