It's 4:53
and I really need a cigarette.
My eyes burn every time I blink
and I should probably go to sleep.
I've had 3 panic attacks tonight
and I still don't know why.
3 panic attacks
3 attempts at purging
3 times my aunts alarm has gone
off in the living room and she still
hasn't left.
My stomach hurts
but I don't plan on eating till after 4.
I want someone in my bed
to tell me I'm not worthless.
Breathing feels funny
and I'm wondering if I should just
stop.
I have 3 months to loose
15 pounds;
3 panic attacks
3 attempts at purging
3 times the alarms gone off
3 months to get skinny.
Goddamn.
It's 5 am now
and my stomach still hurts
and my eyes don't burn
and my pony tail is hurting me
and I still need a smoke.
But there's not much I can do
at 5:01 with my aunt in the other
room.