i’ve often wondered
what it’s like to be
like them- to fit in with 'those' kids
as i stand and look on
at the others who fit in
as they talk in some language
i will never understand.
they laugh at a joke i do not find funny
and i wonder if there is something wrong
with me; i wonder if there is some code
that i have forgotten somewhere
along the path of growing up

but then a tiny voice calls from the back
of my mind and then i remember
that there is no code,
no secret message.
there is just them and me
and then i realize
that perhaps they do not find
the joke all that funny either
and maybe nobody
can speak that language
but some of us are better
at pretending than others