Return Policy | Teen Ink

Return Policy MAG

November 15, 2008
By Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
Andrew Dobies GOLD, Long Grove, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 2 comments

With a sales receipt, a full refund of any emotional attachment in the original form of payment will be issued from any lover for the return of new or unused teddy bears, chocolates, flowers, bracelets, and company on cold January Friday nights at a moment's notice when no other plans could be had within (i) 14 days of gifting from a sweetheart or (ii) 14 days of deciding necklaces and perfume are not the intended gifts. A store credit for the original amount will be issued for (i) signs of affection given less than 7 days prior to the date of return, (ii) when a gift receipt is

Ignore my empty bitterness

presented within 60 days of purchase, (iii) knowledge of the curve of a shoulder blade after a midnight swim, or (iv) proof of attachment was originally conducted elsewhere. Opened big-ticket items may not be returned. They can only be exchanged for the same variety of sexual secret, blackmail photograph, or lovingly chewed-on pencil with attached green gift ribbon from the handle of the tea cup I bought you last spring. Too bad you can't return what matters. Too bad I can't take it back either. Too bad you lost your heart somewhere.
Policy on receipt may appear in two sections.

Ignore my empty bitterness.

Similar Articles


This article has 34 comments.

on Feb. 10 2010 at 10:22 am
blankpages12 BRONZE, Redding, Colorado
4 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down."

breathe taking how you turned something so simple..into...well this

on Feb. 10 2010 at 9:52 am
Aro_To_The_Heart PLATINUM, Mandeville, Louisiana
47 articles 7 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than hands?

-Ernest Gaines.

....Whoa.... I was blown away by the artistic nature of this. Taking something as simple as a return policy and turning it into something meaningful is downright AMAZING! I applaud you most graciously and wish you luck on your ventures. This is undoubtedly one of my favorites.

on Feb. 10 2010 at 12:44 am
Only,I PLATINUM, Taylorville, Illinois
45 articles 17 photos 123 comments

Favorite Quote:
This too shall pass.

This is great, it's so true.

My favorite line is " Too bad you lost your heart somewhere."

I know how you feel, the bitterness of breaking up with someone you love and not knowing what to do with all the stuff they gave you.

heath said...
on Feb. 8 2010 at 7:27 pm
I also like the one in the middle. it makes you stop and think for a second and its a nice quick break from the rest of it. if you were going to take out any, which i dont think you should, i would take out the one at the end

on Feb. 5 2010 at 5:46 pm
This is awesome. I understand that. Too bad there's not an actual return policy so you're stuck putting in either a) in a box in the back of your closet, b) in the trash, or c) in a fire and watch it burn slowly. This is very relatable too. I think It's great.

on Feb. 4 2010 at 8:51 pm
sedaracapri BRONZE, Columbus, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments
i disagree. I like the one in the middle. it makes you pause and realize the point that the author is trying to get across. it catches your attention... well it sure caught mine. great poem. keep writing!

AmnyR BRONZE said...
on Feb. 3 2010 at 9:11 pm
AmnyR BRONZE, Clifton, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 134 comments

Favorite Quote:
To the world, you may be just one person, but to one person, you may be the whole world. ~unknown

a little too bitter for my taste, but its alright

Hamburglar said...
on Feb. 3 2010 at 7:01 pm
Hamburglar, Sibley, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
Ah. Just noticed the one on the end. I mean you should just eliminate the middle one, then.

Hamburglar said...
on Feb. 3 2010 at 6:56 pm
Hamburglar, Sibley, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This is a really great poem. The "Ignore my empty bitterness" In the middle is rather distracting. Perhaps you could put it at the end instead? Other than that, this is quite brilliant.

on Feb. 2 2010 at 7:17 am
Lover_that_Hates DIAMOND, Reynolds, Georgia
76 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
"She was fascinated with words. To her words were things of beauty, each like a magical powder or potion that could be combinded with other words to create powerful spells." From: Lighting(By: Dean Koontz)

it's bitter, its real, it heartbreaking... I love it! great work! I love the way your mind works.

on Jan. 25 2010 at 7:20 pm
goddess_of_the_moon_123 SILVER, Beaverdam, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
'To unpath'd waters, undream'd shores' ~ William Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

LOVE this idea-- totally creative and different. You writing style is just amazing!

on Jan. 25 2010 at 6:56 pm
Angelic_Dispair GOLD, Riverdale, Maryland
17 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not to unto others, what you don't want done to yourself." --Eleanor Roosevelt

This is ingeniusly creative, I love this so much! Please tell me that this is the ONLY one...:)

shiandra said...
on Jan. 25 2010 at 6:08 pm
I love this poem its so sweet!

on Mar. 16 2009 at 9:28 pm
I absolutely love your style of writing.

It's unique and enticing.