We’ve got the vegan kid,
listening to smooth jazz on weekdays, 
and his weekend friend:
the wonders of the television set. 
Why won’t he turn on MTV?
Please reach a tattooed hand to the remote
and hook me up with some True Life. 
Nope, music on that channel’s a part of the mainstream. 
He turns on the Educational Program
but thinks about drugs, sex
and other mind-pollutants. 
How bout a smoke, kid, how bout a smoke?
Okay, and sticks it in his teeth as he finishes
shaving half his head for Kleptomaniac Awareness:
be aware that the klepts are stealing his look. 
What is this, Camel?  He only smokes 
Virginia Slims to demolish the sexism of the corporations.
He’s got a Starbucks cup of hot philosophy,
and nihilism means something to him.
When he dies he’ll turn off
like his beloved iPhone
because he’s trying to spread his message:
Hell is just another corporation.