words spilling out of my mouth
flying up from my lungs
jumping off of my conscience
escaping my head
because its a dark and scary place in there
but its a big lonely world out here
so please dont ask me to come out of my mind
and live real life
because the voices that i hear arent mine
and i dont know what they're saying or
what they're feeling
it is an unstable unconscious feeling
and i am sickened
i am sickened by the glares i get when
i finally stick my head out of my shell and
when the guillotine comes flying at my neck
i stick my head back inside avoiding the blade
made of hate
made of your unkind words said behind my back under my spine
they make my heart itch like a scratch that
makes your hair stand on end because i cant
wipe you off my dash youre stuck on my tires sending rumors through my ignition
you say best friends forever no best friends for never because best friends weather the weather and
love each other whenever but
the second i tasted her cherry Chapstick
did you feel like your contract expired and
when i cried on the floor for hours like a child and you didn't feel the desire to pick up the phone and call or when I was standing on the chair
with the rope around my neck let me guess you were busy that day
thats okay anyway
I'm not that important to you but did you know that gay girls have feelings too and
when i say i need you
that best friends usually stay but
to you it wasn't mandatory
well listen now
look at me
thats right
look up from your cup of imitation coffee and stop whispering falsities into the ears of your neighbors and look me in the eyes and see that i know
i see you
i can see you
you on your throne of lies
does it make you happy inside to see
me alone
well miss best friends forever
i hope youre happy now because
you turned everyone against me
i hope youre happy because
you lost the only competition you ever had
over such a petty thing as
love as sex as lust as belief as best friends forever best best best never
never say those words
never speak the lies that tore me up inside
and the next time youre telling everyone
how impure i am
i want you to remember this moment and
how i felt and
how i called you out
because you know what
its not okay
it's not okay to be so cruel
it's not okay to make me cry
it's not okay anymore and
I'm done pretending to be
I'm not okay
I'm angry and sad and every day i wake up with
a heavy heart thinking that i am flawed i am flaws
i am a flaw
because you made me feel like that
you did
but also know something important
something rich something sweet like molasses
that swims down your throat and cuts off your airflow
know that i forgive you
every single one of you
for pushing me to tear myself to shreds
i am here for all of you and
i forgive every single tally on your chart
of best friends
because best friends forever
well they weather the weather no matter whenever you say best friends for never and
i say best friends forever