You mean to tell me he's gone?
Gone forever...?
NO!
HE CAN'T BE!
Make him wake up!
Please!!!
He can't be gone no!!
He was only 15
So young
So scared
"How?"
I hear the words come out of my mouth
But I know I don't wanna know the answer
He's still needed
This can't be true
"He hung himself"
The words hit me like a speeding bullet just fired
No!
He can't be!
I refuse to believe it
"He didn't.... He wouldn't"
I keep repeating that
The mourner comes in
Looks at me
And through my tear stained eyes
I stare right through him
"Excuse me.... miss?"
I know he's speaking to me
I change my eyes direction
and meet his eyes with mine
I can see the body bag behind him
It's my deepest fear
"That's...not...no...is it...?"
That's all my mouth let's me mutter out
I close my eyes and listen to the mourners words
"Ma'am... I'm sorry for the loss of your loved one.
If you would like a moment alone with him
Please.
Let me know"
I don't grasp a word.
I begin to sob in place
Then realize this is the
LAST time I'll ever see my brother
I stand and ask the mourner to open the bag
He pulls it over my brothers face and I just stare
He's pale face
Paler than normal
His body cold
Lifeless
The rope is laying on the ground
Beside the stretcher.
"Why?"
Is all I ask.
Quietly so no one can hear
All that's running through my head
"Why?
Why?
WHY?
WHY RYAN WHY?"
I run out of the room and continue crying
My brother's gone
Gone forever and still
I refuse to believe it
Good bye Ryan.
I love you