I want to cry past the rivers,
far from any shores,
into the depths of other’s hearts.
To peel back the pain and bury it deep down,
so not even cold heartless hands can reach it.
Will I cry, for many years, over sins I did not commit,
just to see them smile again?


Could I take painful memories from the ones I hold near and dear to my heart,
While at the same time shoving my selfness into a lake,
blocking the sound of my own thirsty urges?


Can I provoke such happiness within others?
One day,
but I am not one who seeks my own pleasures.


Such a person I wish never to be.
Your suffocating recollection of those constant reminders drown you in sorrow.
I have yet to bring you to the surface
So you can breathe the fresh air of happiness.
I hold back all fear of finding something I know I shouldn't,
for I have seen it all,
and bear no ill will against what you have done in the past.

I want to help
but I wish not be pushed away.
In some ways I wonder-
am I selfish, taking on the hated ships and forcing them on myself,
just to drink another bitter taste of agony?
I never question what I’m doing,
I question why,
but even so,
even though my eyes are full of tears
I will smile just so that you will do the same.
But for now allow me to swallow my cold thoughts,
well under the constant pressure of other’s stares.

This is what I choose to do,
to see the true you,
the one and only you.

Let me seek the smile that will one day play across your face with such a bright shine,
that even the sun will seem a faint light.
One day we will both smile,
and it is true,
then that will be my happiest day.