i want to puke up the bitterness
and the anger
and the grudges
and the acid in my stomach
until my throat goes raw
and i can't speak.

and i want to puke up the food i ate today
every last bite
to see it fall off my stomach
and my thighs
and my hips
and my chest
until i say its enough,
and it will be.

i want to puke up everything i'm feeling right now
because i'm too sick to keep breathing
and i'm too angry to do nothing
but too cowardly to make a difference
and too hateful to be worth anything.

if i cut that all out
and scrub it all away
and become the person i always wanted to be
(who's beautiful
and kind
and slender
and forgiving)
will i start to be okay again?