The other day
While cleaning out my virtual sanctuary that some refer to as
“The Basement”
I found a small yellow bead
It was stuck in the filter of one of the fans on my computer
And it kept making this obnoxious ticking sound
That I finally decided to investigate
You gave me this bead
Just about a year ago
We went to Streetfest together
An event that does nothing but increase traffic and bore me
And you gave me this thin bracelet
Filled with yellow and black beads
It felt as though it could snap at any moment
You gave me this thin bracelet
Before we were living the broken way of life
That we legitimately thought was love
You gave me this thin bracelet
Before you gave me repetitive and constant make-outs
And fake over possessive emotional breakdowns
One day this bracelet did snap
Caught in your shoulder length, dark blonde hair
While you were treating me like Mary Elizabeth did to Charlie
The beads were to scattered for me to find
I knew the weak string would never keep that held together
So I wasn't upset at all
Just sort of annoyed that I lost this relic so soon
You started making obnoxious noises of comfort
As if I was a mirror so you could tell yourself it would be fine
Our “love” after that felt off
Like eating Fruit Loops with no milk
Sure everything looks fine
But there's definitely something missing
No it wasn't the cheap beaded bracelet
It was the absence of control you had
You seemed to not be able to love someone
Unless you had several different objects to remember them by
You continuously bought more bracelets
Took more pictures
Bought picture frames to go with them
Stored every note I wrote for you in school
Constantly kissed when we were out of the public eye
As if actually doing something as a couple was impossible without our lips touching
Ultimately
After a year and one day under two months
You're the one who was the “stronger person” and ended it
With a goodbye gift to come with the breakup
Feed your actual diagnosed addiction to buy people gifts one last relapse
Like an alcoholic musician saying he's leaving his band to go to AA after the afterparty
I admit I was surprised to find that this gift was not a matching bracelet
Or a photo of you saying “I love you”
Which you actually said as I walked away
But it was a harmless penguin ornament
Something harmless that anyone who knew me for 5 minutes would buy
I didn't want to wait for the cheap material holding it together
To break and explode the pieces all over
I did the job for it
It didn't need to stay
Just to represent a dry rainbow of edible rings with no calcium
And one day shatter all over the floor of my virtual sanctuary
It deserved to be gone
To be disposed with all of its pieces
I found myself thinking about you one day when I glanced at it
I took and it and threw it against a wall
Picked up all the pieces of the final relic
And threw them away
It served its purpose of memory
But now I'm stuck with this bead
This small yellow orb that hid away for months
And I can't find myself to get rid of it
Like all my anger and negative emotion was lost within the ornament
Now I find myself keeping it
As memory of a successful relationship
Before more bracelets and photos took away the milk
And took the true love you once had for me instead of momentos