My Precious Peach | Teen Ink

My Precious Peach

February 7, 2014
By WinterRose76 SILVER, Ok., Florida
WinterRose76 SILVER, Ok., Florida
6 articles 6 photos 183 comments

Favorite Quote:
Arise and be all that you dream - Flyleaf

I breathe your fragrance,
what a heavenly scent.

I touch your skin,
how velvety soft.

I admire your shape,
so perfectly plump.

I bite your flesh,
how savory sweet!

I lick my lips,
my you are delicious…

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This article has 12 comments.

gboo12 SILVER said...
on Jun. 28 2014 at 3:28 pm
gboo12 SILVER, Bergen County, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 18 comments
Pretty cool poem! I actually didn't look at the title before reading it and thought that it was about a (sexual) experience with a person, but the fact that it could go both ways is interesting within itself. Also love how it is very short and simple- leaves the reader thinking about what it could be (regardless of the title). Keep writing!

on Jun. 17 2014 at 11:14 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

Hahaha yes! You finally understand what I was thinking at that precise moment when I first read it. Nonetheless, I think it's a charming poem.

on Jun. 16 2014 at 3:24 pm
Z.V.Oksana PLATINUM, Harrison, Arkansas
22 articles 1 photo 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there's a tomorrow. Maybe for you there's one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it.
But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

Because of this comment, I reread the poem in another viewpoint as if she were talking about a human. "I bite your flesh, how savory sweet! I lick my lips. My you are delicious." Hahahaha. It goes from cute to creepy really fast if she was talking about a person.

on Jun. 3 2014 at 10:12 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I totally thought this was about a person when I read it at first. (I know I'm dumb b/c it says "peach" in the title, but I thought maybe it was a nickname. XD) Anyway, now that I know it's about fruit, it perfectly describes a peach. I love the short stanzas with insane vocab tucked into each one. That's incredible on its own. Then the way you strung them together? Very cool. The only thing I would suggest is deleting the "..." at the end. It gives off the vibe that your poem is incomplete. To create a more definite and confident ending, I would end with a straight-out period.

on May. 1 2014 at 10:22 am
Love2Read72 PLATINUM, Kentfield, California
24 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” — Taylor Swift

I like how this isn't generic poem written for a loved one, but for an actual peach. It makes me think that a lot of poets are kind of overthinking all of their poems.

on May. 1 2014 at 10:04 am
nithyaswaminathan BRONZE, Pleasanton, California
2 articles 0 photos 59 comments
wow! not many people write about things as simple as peaches, for they can be hard to express, but I think you described the peach perfectly. I love peaches. 

dinks PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 24 2014 at 4:32 pm
dinks PLATINUM, Hinsdale, Illinois
28 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and kisses are a better faith than freedom"

the subject itself, the peach, is very unique! not many people choose to write about it for  fruit can be a harder topic to write about, but you nailed it! Short, and sweet just like the peach!

HudaZav SILVER said...
on Apr. 15 2014 at 6:27 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 390 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Wow! unique and catchy rhymes. great job!

on Apr. 12 2014 at 1:47 pm
j.g.poems PLATINUM, Naples, Florida
29 articles 6 photos 43 comments
this is so freaking awesome, cute, and unique! one of the coolest poems i have ever read

on Mar. 18 2014 at 12:47 pm
ImmortalRose GOLD, Arvada, Colorado
17 articles 1 photo 168 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Khalil Gibran

This was kinda funny.  I loved it.

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Mar. 13 2014 at 6:19 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

A really unique poem-- Not a lot of people write about peaches or fruit. But you do so in such a way where it can mean more than one thing to the reader. Brilliant :)

on Mar. 3 2014 at 11:18 am
JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction is the lie that tells the truth."

That's crazy good and i don't think you're just talking about a peach here. The way you make that metaphor though is great because it is exactly how a metaphor is suppose to be. That is one wonderful poem and I'll be sure to look out for more. (This is the part where i do self advertisement. Sorry. I just need to get out there.) As long as you keep on commenting on my poetry, I'll be sure to check out some of your new stuff. May your future endeavors be joyful. -JacobTheOrdinary