I tell myself to stop.
I didn’t like it.
It was wrong.
But I did like it, and it felt so right.
I want you.
But I don’t want what comes along with loving you.
Just being there, in that moment, with you, was amazing.
But now it is over with and I face the consequences of my selfish actions.
I let you in.
I let you into my heart.
You crushed it.
Scraping down the walls like it was an old abandoned house.
As the construction of my new house progressed it had become beautiful and full of love once again.
But I made a mistake.
I made a mistake of letting you in again.
And right now, we are sitting in the heart of the house at the coffee table.
Face to face with the very person that had wrecked this very home before.
We stay at the coffee table, not able to move.
We continue in the same place, but I wonder.
I wonder if I let you deeper into my house again that you will destroy it.
Destroy the very walls that had brung you comfort for so many months.
I fear it.
I fear the day that this will once again happen.
But I don’t put a stop to it.
I will continue to let you into my house because I do not know better.
I am just another human being.
My mistakes taking a toll on my life just as they normally would.
But now,
now I am making countless mistakes that I had already made and should of learned from.
I need to protect my house, because as time continues, I will not have the resources to keep rebuilding these walls.