when your adolescently naive its a longing. An impatient observation for the experiences that lend themselves to the development of your mystical independence. You pensively turnover an image of yourself. You’ve created this person who beholds the characteristics you long to obtain but but lie so far out of your reach. This person is in all essential aspects you but their flawless perfection taunts you with its unachievable qualities. This is the person I have become fixated with. It is the person who’s image constantly appears in juggle of my mind. I find them sitting next to me in class. I am amazed by their ability to adapt to the social atmosphere of their piers, challenge ideas and voice opinions. Their illuminated confidence mocks me. They project a self assurance I do not possess. I see them on the computer screen. Except this time I’ve invited them. I have allowed them to show their perfect smiles and slender curvature which shows me all that my physicality lacks. They taunt my youth with the promise of independence and free will. They disapprove of my attempts at maturity with the ephemerality of youth. Im consumed in jealousy. Its a sticky mess that smears the floors of my life. As I move I find my self sliding on its carpet of collecting goo. I search for an exit, an escape. Wadded by the external beauty of others I have been blinded by my own sight. The possibility of relief seems a distant impossibility. However, overtime I’ve found it. Its a smile. A simple facial expression that pulls me out into a world of happiness.