I find it hard to describe myself most of the time
Being pushed and pulled always being told what to do
Society deems me as young and irresponsible
Yet I feel just the opposite
I’m a 15 year old girl who feels much older than that number
I’ve become very self dependent and don’t like asking others for help
But everyone looks down on me for my age
Just a number upon which I can’t control
And a generation judged as if we’re a whole

I am born and raised in upstate New York
And couldn’t imagine it any different way
Without my family and friends I wouldn’t be who I am today
All I want is a way to repay them all
But disappointing them is my biggest fear
I put too much pressure on myself to try to be perfect
And can’t accept that it’s impossible to be
I constantly feel as if I’m not good enough
Or am always letting people down
And that feeling always supplies a very large frown

I play lacrosse and hope to college for it
But when I think of the future my stomach turns to a bottomless pit
Thinking that it could all change tomorrow makes me sick
The universe works in very tricky ways
And sadly limits amazing peoples days
There are many people I will forever miss
But without their impact on my life I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today
I am so scared of what is to come
And loosing ones I love makes me go numb

I always try to be happy in a world filled of sorrow
But everyday that seems to become harder and harder
I talk too much which is one of my many faults
Along with biting my nails and hiding my emotions in separate secret vaults
I always try to put a smile on others faces
Yet seem to forget about mine
I will forever put personal happiness second
And in a perfect world I’d focus on myself a little more
I worry about others and would go out of the way for ones I love
And will let people walk all over me
Just so they can feel like I know they wish to be
Forgiving is my middle name
And being overly nice is my claim to fame

I still don’t know what I’m truly meant to do
Or who I am meant to be
But in my life so far I’ve decided I was put on Earth to make people smile
The kinks are still being sorted through
But I’ve become very accustomed with what I am supposed to do
I always supply advice and will help with open arms
And if you need someone to cheer you up
I will never say anything but “yup”
And no I’m not perfect
But I can honestly say I’m proud of who I’m becoming
An upstate girl who has a heart larger than life
That is who I am, and who I intend to stay