I pretended to sleep hoping my mom would leave me upstairs.
She didn't.
I was trying my best not to cry in front of all my cousins, and family members.
I didn't.
I ate my slice of cake trying not to puke.
I didn't.
I went upstairs to eat in the dark all alone in my room.
I did.
I wanted to block out the loudness of drunken people.
But I couldn't.
I wanted to focus on the music blaring from my earphones.
I couldn't.
I was starving.
But I couldn't eat.
I covered myself in blanket trying so hard not to cry.
I cried softly and silently.
I’m waiting for the absolute silence that comes after a party.
I’m waiting to see all the lights turned on and the emptiness inside my house.
I don’t like the dark, it scares me.
I don’t like the light, it bares my soul.
I like the dark when I’m sad.
I like the light when the world is still, and silent.
I waiting to fall I asleep,
and I do.