To fall asleep, and never wake up.
To close my eyes, and embrace the dark.
These two broken legs I walk on want to fall,
This broken heart wants to stop,
This broken body wants to rest--For eternity.

The music of death, so sonorous to my ears.
The sight of blindness, so desired by my eyes.
The feeling of nothing, so craved by my body.

Losing the depression, the pain, the hurt;
Losing the anger, the hate, the loss;
Winning the gift of a break, from the extreme feelings-
Sadness to trembling sobs--be gone.
Anger to bloodlust--be gone.

The thought of nothingness brings joy...
Joy-The smile on toddler’s faces...
Joy-The first kiss of a teenage girl...
Joy-The marriage of those deeply in love...
Joy-What I have yet to feel.
Unfathomable to my soul...Joy.

Will death bring this joy?
Will nothingness bring joy?
Will numbness bring joy?
Joy--Just joy.
Simply joy.
I just want joy..