Sometimes I forget you have depression
The way your eyes crinkle when you smile
How you try to hide your laugh but it always manages to escape
The way your whole body perks up whenever you talk about something you love

But sometimes I can't help but wonder if its all a facade
That your smile is there to mask your pain
Your laughter forced and brittle
Your mind filled with negative thoughts brimming to the top waiting to explode
Feeling as though nobody around cares when it so clear that you do but your mind is just so consumed nothing will change that

Words of joy are guarded to shield me from your endless torment
These dark thoughts tend to resurface time and time again
Taunting me, scream and shouting you aren't happy

Because loving you is loving a shard of glass
sharp and beautiful all at once
Do I clutch harder drawing blood
For how can i resist something so un earthly beautiful

For you're the raging river
And I the hopeless rocks being thrashed below
Being kissed by a dozen sharp razors

But your eyes, my god those beautiful eyes
They're so full of truth, suffering and pain
I know I could never whisper a thousand white lies

I know that I love you
That this is love, not teenage love
That this feeling runs bone deep
Not brushing the surface with trembling fingers upon a calm pool
We are not clouded by deceit of a false image
Nor laced with the poison of betrayal

This is love, all consuming love
Love is a battle
Tears shed, our blood, words engaged battling swords
And never ending storm of depression

The soot coloured clouds billowing above like feelings
Lightning leaving scars upon my heart
The thunder crashing above reminding me again, and again you aren't happy

This thought of your happiness torments me day in and day out, leaving me tossing and turning at night
I hear it whispering my darkest fears
You aren't happy.

And I know depression consumes and clouds your mind like lingering fog
Making me fight that much harder to keep you grounded
For I always want to see your smile, the sparkle in your eyes, and the sweet sound of your laughter

You're mine as I am yours
Your pain, my pain
Your tears, my tears
and your laughter, my laugher

And then it returns
That suffocating ghost that always lingers in the background
For sometimes I forget you have depression