My 16th summer started, truly, with prom and ended with the fourth of July.

My 16th (4^2) summer was the only summer in which I have been in a gooey-eyed-sweaty-hand-holding-time-consuming-relationship.


My 16th (4x4) summer was a summer I spent in my head, wondering about hips and their variations across genders.

My 16th (2^4) summer I was in-love-too but not in love… or I was, or I wasn’t, or I would be.

My 16th (2^2x2^2) summer was suffocating, even for an introvert.

My 16th (2x2x2x2) summer I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix and bawled my eyes out like the big baby I was when Tara was killed.

My 16th (4^2 (4x4 (2^4 (2^2x2^2 (2x2x2x2 ))))) summer I came downstairs for dinner, eyes still basset-hound-esc from the death of a character (and being a big baby); my mom asked what was the matter and I told her that I had a crush on a girl and not my boyfriend and that Tara was dead and I was sad because her girlfriend, Willow, was sad and because no one else watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and because no one else knew who Tara was and no one else knew why it was so terribly sad that Tara was dead and that she was gone and Willow was- was

Alone.