The most terrifying feeling in the world
Is the feeling that comes from looking in the mirror
And not being able to recognize the person looking back
The feeling that comes from not knowing
Who you are
And not being sure if you ever really knew
Who you were
Because there will come a time in your life
Where you want to be someone else
Because you don’t fit in
And some people don’t like you
And you don’t like you
So you’ll change
Not for yourself, but for others
Because you want to fit in
And you want people to like you
And you want to like you

It will work
You’ll be accepted
By someone
Maybe by everyone
You might become popular
You might even get a boyfriend
And for a while
You’ll be happy
You’ll be happy
Wearing a mask
Making sure to say the right things
Liking what other people like
Saying what other people say
Doing what other people do
Wearing what other people wear
And being anything
But yourself

And sometimes
You might catch yourself
Missing your old friends
Missing the feeling of being able
To really laugh
Missing the feeling of not caring
And that’s when you’ll have to remind yourself
That this is what you wanted
This is what you worked for
This is what you changed for
This is you now
And you’re supposed to like it

You’ll come home one day
You won’t do your homework
You’ll argue with your parents
They’ll tell you they don’t know who you are anymore
They’ll ask you where the old you went
They’ll tell you they want you back
You’ll run upstairs
You’ll slam the door
And you’ll cry
Because you don’t know who you are anymore
And you don’t know where the old you went
And you want you back

But you’ll never get you back
Not completely
You might go back to your old friends
And you might be able to really laugh again
But there will always be a part of you
That does what other people do
And says what other people say
And likes what other people like
Because even though you don’t want to lose yourself completely
You still want to fit in
And everyone knows that when people tell you to ‘be yourself’
What they really mean is, ‘don’t be.’