She preferred silence
Still quiet that hid her from existence
That let her keep her thoughts safe
Hidden meant secret and secret meant protected
Against the judgment
Against the fears
Against the truth
That she had long forgotten

She remembered noise
Pounding sounds that made her flinch
Brought her into the vision of others
Words that tumbled from her mouth
Defying the expectations
Defying the desires
Defying the silence
That she had sought out

She held darkness
Swarming masses trapped inside her mind
Blocking out the light she needed
Whispering things she forgot to know
Forgot the death
Forgot the blood
Forgot the rage
That she had pushed away

She wanted light
Blinding streaks that let her fade away
Shift into a blur in someone else’s eyes
So they couldn't see what she hid
See the grief
See the memories
See the screams
That she had finally released