Inspiration | TeenInk

Inspiration

June 16, 2013
By thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"


The same smile on your face has grown wider and wider and wider
Not the tides that had suffocated your strength
Not the ache that blew you apart from within
has caused your smile to shrink.
You have grown with that wide mouth stretching
Like a six inch subway burger
From the end of one ear,
All the way to another. Daddy, You are courage
Personified, and Inspiration,
Exemplified.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.


on Jul. 11 2013 at 8:15 pm
nelehjr DIAMOND, Lingle, Wyoming
60 articles 11 photos 381 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Okay, so, I'm bad with poetry to begin with. Haha. Do you think you could put that this poem was about your father some where towards the begining? I left you five stars :)

on Jul. 9 2013 at 9:10 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

Thank you loads for that, taking your time out and all.. Yes, I'm considering revising those two lines that make my breathing dad sound like he's dead!! hehe. He hasn't blown apart yet. And the title...well I didn't even plan to write the poem on my dad at first, I said started writing about the 'smile' of a 'you' and I didn't know who to stick 'you' up with...so I just made it my dad, adn labelled the thing as an inspiration. But you got valuable thought provoking points, I'll probably revise those lines a bit. Thanks superherofan!

on Jul. 8 2013 at 2:58 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?” - Fahrenheit 451

Awwww! That's so sweet!
Okay. Back to business. You asked on the forums to get 'frank feedback'. First, I have to ask why you named your poem 'Inspiration'. I know you mentioned it in the last sentence, but I couldn't see it fitting in anywhere else. I kind of thought the title should incorporate smiling, but that's just my opinion.
Second, I was kind of confused by: '...Not the tides that had suffocated your strength, Not the ache that blew you apart from within, has caused your smile to shrink'. Did he die? That was the only part I got stuck on though.
Hope this helps!