Breaking Point | Teen Ink

Breaking Point

May 10, 2013
By x_rbdf GOLD, Augusta, Georgia
x_rbdf GOLD, Augusta, Georgia
17 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
He who faces give no light shall never become a star


All I fell is shame,but I guess I have my self to blame
I put my head down so I don't look into the eyes that judge me
I try so hard to be brave
But to my emotions Iam a slave
To my heart I Ly dead in a grave
And to life I'm stuck
Iam truLy at my breaking point
My eyes begin to water cant remember a word I said
If I could choose this way or Die
I'd rather be dead
I wish I can take everything back But its to late for that
Iam truLy at my breaking point



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This article has 1 comment.


on May. 23 2013 at 4:16 pm
LiraDaeris PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

I feel bad critiquing because this feels so honest. Please know that I do not mean to judge you, but to only help you portray your feelings better. In the words of Kyo from Fruits Basket, "It's okay to complain a little sometimes! If we don't know that something is wrong, how can we help you fix it?" Feel free to say something is wrong; I want to help you say that something is wrong :) There are a few typos in this. That is pretty easy to fix, though- it's just a few missing letters or spaces. You have some great images in this - I really like the being dead to your heart image. Expand on the being unable to remember the words you said. Are they to someone else? How did those words affect how you feel now? Use details to sew your feelings together. There is a lot of depth to this poem, and you truly did a good job on it. Sending hugs and prayers, and feel free to find someone to tell them what is going on.