i am singing your favorite song in my head
as i walk through the hallways
of a school i don’t want to be in.
i am thinking of you the way i always do
and i am thinking of how weird everything is.

i kinda like the way i have random insight on life
in the middle of another shallow thought,
but at the same time
i don’t.
it’s way too much responsibility
to have to remember the meaning of life
when i also have to study for my chemistry test.

science is unimportant, though,
and i’d much rather use my time
memorizing the lyrics that you listen to late at night
when i am not there,
but should be.

i do not want to know things
or write things or live.
you scare me because you make it seem okay
that i am willing to waste my life away
with you.
also, it scares me that you don’t feel the way i do.

i should not give up for you,
i should just give up on you,
but that’s not something i can do.