You're my mother but that didn't stop you from hurting me
I tried to be everything you wanted,
but it was never enough
Your expectations were always to high; Failure was all you saw when you looked upon me

When I was five I was sexually abused,
I didn't tell you because i Knew you'd hate it and me

As the years passed, you stopped beating me,
But you would always hurt me with words of hate

Because of you, I had no self-esteem
You abused me in many ways: verbally, mentally and emotionally

We were always together,
Through good and bad,
But you never knew who I was,
Though I knew you inside out

All I feel for you is resentment,
I no longer care what you think
All I ever wanted was your acceptance
For you to be proud of me,
That you would love me

But as the years passed on, Your expectations goy higher and higher,
I became the perfect child,
The top achiever
I came out on newspapers But it still wasn't enough
The responsibility of my my brothers became mine; though i was only in kindergarten my brothers became my sons

I was needed,
You and them depended on a five year old, now fifteen boy

My brothers treated me as dirt,
they took me for granted,
My mother, could I really call you that?

I bled when I was thirteen,
From the blade did my skin part,
As the crimson pain flowed,
my burning tears fell

A reflection of hate, my fist punched at,
Bloody anger as I scream at the skies

Then i hid it all,
Left no trace,
Pretended Nothing was wrong
And lied about my life

My wounds beneath my jacket,
My eyes held burning pain,
A soul aflame
My core of hate
The void which is my heart

This is what I've always felt
But my mother, you had no clue
My brothers didn't care enough to notice
Only my friends knew,
Though not the depths of it all

So here I am in the rain,
God help me once again?
And give me the strength to stand tall

Well mother I no longer care,
To Hell with it all,
You've given me up,
Not only did you lose a son, But his love and respect as well

Burning soul in my eyes,
Crimson rivers of pain flow
The darkness within; it's a void
A heart that beats with defiance
Loneliness courses through my veins...

I loved you,
All i ever wanted was your approval, To hug you and know that I was not hated
But you left me there to die,
You didn't know that I'd live to be who I am,
The teen who you shaped and hurt,
Who once called himself your son,
Who can never shed another tear for you again