I was hoping to be happy at seventeen.
School was a sharp knife stabbing me in the back,
A ridiculous clown,
Honking it's horn in your face. Your classmates
were too worried about stupid gossip to care.

The hallways reeked of rude behavior and
lemon floor cleaner. So,
I sat in the dark auditorium watching people mull about,
Not talking to any of them, just sitting around.
Sitting in a corner on the stage,
And feeling depressed because their
Approval was as impossible as the end of the world.

I wanted them to care,
Or at least pretend to.
I wanted them to see what I wanted,
And not what they wanted
Me to do. Perform, not Engineer.

But my appearance as changing, in hope
They would notice me.
I started wearing makeup,
And dressing differently.
The thing is,
I actually started to like it.
I wanted to get out. Get as far away as possible.
But their lack of trust,
Froze me in place. My eyes
looked out into the vast auditorium,
People coming and going,
With people supporting them in their journey.