Words From A Young Prison Wife | Teen Ink

Words From A Young Prison Wife

April 11, 2013
By Kaneeshamai Wilson GOLD, Washington DC, Texas
Kaneeshamai Wilson GOLD, Washington DC, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 1 comment

.....Where are you?
Being tested...
Where are you?
Being tested..

No rest.
Oh no, no rest for those who are wicked.
Am I just another falling angel?

Leaving holes in clouds...am I really just another silent northbound passenger plane?
Where is that damned landing strip…

Where are you?
It’s not so easy to navigate from hell
Who knows how to fly this thing!

because we’re going down fast

You are most certainly not anywhere in this chunk of atmosphere we’re together in
Like a pair of star-crossed scarab beetles frozen into a rock of amber.

I would surely see.
You tell me after much deliberation that you’ve decided to join the clergy.
To turn around the lives of others. ..
I begin to wonder if you’ve forgotten what my voice sounds like when I can use it freely.
I admire the intentions that are pushing and shoving on your dreams

But must there be no room left between us for sanity?

Your love is graceful and abiding and splendid,
But I fear that maybe you’ve been in a box for a long time..
No time now for your soliloquoys on childhood...your wife-less end-all decision making
Let us not crash and burn this way.

Guide me on into port, my love
And there, Your light!
And then, a safe place for me to land to avoid the coming storm.
My lighthouse on the horizon.
My bermuda triangle, baby you’re my singing siren.

Sweetly singing low, in my ear, sweet chariot, as I dive gracefully to graceful ends
And with this love, I don’t remember clearly if I filled up the tanks
Before takeoff.

Looking for that one bright spot where you exist up close
and without glass or security guards or that damned county jail.
Sugar, I am afraid we’re going down, and I’m not so sure that we’re swingin’.

My God.
I’ll be seeing you somewhere beneath all the wreckage
But my injuries aren’t the sort to need bandages
So take your time when looking for me
What's left may be hard to identify

The fever won’t break
My skin is sparkling with sweat
The flames are spreading to my head
As I come crashing toward you, made of solid titanium, heart filled with you mixed up with lead

Free fall
Is it me that speaks delusional?
Am I cracked in half, a broken wristwatch, ready for the pawnshop?

And the ultimate failure of a gravity we’ve been running away from
Throwing me back to you

All imperfections and scars and dreams and nightmares

I am heavy, and then all at once, finally I’ll be weightless
Oh, sweet freedom
Your light
That’s got to be it!
Have you spent too many days without post alone in your cell?

Is your mind turning to an oatmeal of complexities and high-strung assumptions?
Are you at least still sweet with sugar?

I wonder...as I approach you and begin to unravel
My sleeves rolled up far enough to make me feel honest
Look for me, scoop my fine dust up into your palms, like the new testament on Easter Sunday
Pray for second chances and miracles
When the wind from the rising tide whispers up to greet us
And carries me away with the waves
Will you swim us back to shore?
The stars shine brightest when you’re smiling
Maybe it’ll be a collision of glorious light and tragically romantic proportions, jets exploding, glass shattering into dust, metal twisting and wrenching out of shape
I wonder if you have grown out your hair much.
My love.
Guiding me home, to that spot I’ll crash back to earth in a million shattered pieces of shadows and bits of light that still shine for you…
We are lovers and memories and safety and romance and pain and suffering and beginnings and ends..

But no immortals
Only love and its cautionary tales survive
Even once the dust settles, and the last survivor takes his final breath

There is still love, what was and what went undocumented

I’m really sick.
I fear there may be poison ivy growing out of my pretty mouth
Whispering pathetic things one only says from an ER bed
I can feel two meaty hands around my bronchial tubes
fondling my lungs and yanking me inside out

through my sore throat

The infection aches in my bones, behind my eye balls, all the way down to my split ends
I can feel it,
I’ve been having these awful dreams
Of a deathly tightness
Noosed round my neck
Bought two tickets hell bound, took the window seat for free
No air this far down, not like it used to be
I remember what the attendants said before takeoff
About helping myself
Before the person that’s next to me
But you’ve been gone for weeks
Before there’s a fire, there’s smoke
Can’t breathe, and on you I’m prepared to choke
As together we explode
Can’t you see?
Love conquers, Love destroys
Love ravages, love heals.

No guarantees
No harnesses
Free fall

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