Forever Alone

I think I hear my phone go off and I
pray to God it’s you.
But I’m always disappointed, you’re never there.
When you are there, you always ask me to love you,
I do with all my heart. I always tell you
it’s nothing more than friendship, but that’s a lie.
I want you more than anything in this world.
You’re the reason I can’t breath. You’re the reason I
lose every hour of sleep. I don’t know what I’d
do without you in my life. Everyone tells me to stay away
because you hurt me in the past, but I’m also
not innocent. We both have sinned, and nobody can see it.
They always take my side, when you’re the one they
should take. Everybody thinks I’m good when nobody really
knows me at all. Mama says I’ll be a walk all over
if I still love you, but I can’t fight it. You’re the only
one who ever wanted me so badly. Who else is fighting
for me like you? I feel so lost without you. You use to talk
to me everyday and tell me how much you love me,
but now we only fight because I refuse to be with you.
I refuse to give into your love. I think you know I don’t
deserve you, but in the end, you say its all your fault and I know
it’s killing you. It takes everything in me to not cry everyday.
Some days I barely survive though, I break down and everything inside
me just lets go. I’m not going to be able to take it much longer.
One day soon I’ll have to give in or else I won’t survive. You told me you can’t
live without me and before I didn’t know what you meant,
until now. I feel like I die inside every second I’m not talking
to you. You hear my voice when know one else can. I am the
girl who isn’t seen in the crowd, but you somehow saw me. You’re
the type of guy everyone can get along with and I’m
jealous of you. You have millions of girls chasing after you,
Even if you only want them to be your friends I still
hate that they get your attention. They are all so beautiful
and they deserve you more than me. I just can’t see how
you can love me. Why are you the only one who can see me this way?
Maybe we were meant to be together, forever, and for always. Maybe
we are soul mates and we never knew it. But will
I be able to go against my friends and family, will they all
hate me in the end? You would tell me yes, to go for it
and screw my family but that is always easier said than done.
You’re out tonight and I hope you’re having a good time.
As much as it kills me, I wish you’d meet someone new,
while I remain forever alone.

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