Shoulder-to-shoulder,
Camouflage vests and shiny steel guns,
We would talk about it,
Our future,
The life we might lead,
Years from now.
I told you,
I promised you,
That I would never leave you.
And in turn you told me,
I'd always be your friend.
What a joke.
What a cruel joke.
"I'll never leave you like she did,"
I would say in a sing-songy voice.
And you'd laugh,
"We'll be friends forever."
Best friends.
For life, right?
That's what you told me.
That's what I thought.
And it turns out,
That things aren't always
What you think they'll be.
It turns out,
You had no compassion.
It turns out,
You didn't care.
And when our friendship
Twisted my heart around,
You just laughed.
You meant no harm,
But it did me no good.
And then,
When it felt like maybe something would work,
When it felt like we could HAPPEN,
You killed it.
You took whatever hopes I had,
And crushed them under the soles
Of your military boots.
All those smiles and stares and laughs
For nothing.
Nothing, I tell you.
The harsh realization burnt my tongue.
And scarred me with that hurt.
"I'm sorry,"
I whispered,
Even though it wasn't my fault.
"I'm sorry for everything."
"Go, just go,
My life was great
Until you walked in."
How does cruelty work?
And didn't you feel something?
Didn't something stab you that night,
Straight through the chest;
A pain so fresh you couldn't imagine it otherwise.
Didn't you feel anything,
Anything at all?
And if you didn't...
How could you not?
If I had meant anything to you,
Anything it all,
You would have cared.
You would have missed me.
But I didn't mean anything.
And nor did our friendship.
How glad was I to finally,
Finally realize the truth;
I was nothing to you,
And that's fine-
I just wish that you hadn't pretended.
Maybe then I'd have a chance.
I'd have a chance to stop crying,
I'd promise you,
With a cherry on top,
Even if you don't like cherries,
That I would never,
Ever
Leave you.
Because I wouldn't.
Why would I leave my best friend?
I'd never turn my back on you
The way you did to me.
I'd never sacrifice our
Love-hate friendship
For anything.
Because honestly,
You meant the world to me.
And I just want you to know,
In a few last words,
That I miss you still,
My best friend,
And I know I always will.