She was frail, often in pain,
but she still vibrated with energy.
She presented herself as free—
She could have gone wherever she liked,
but now she has no where to go &
no way of getting there for I bled her secret everywhere.

And yet, I have seen it over and over,
the same secret that disarrays the same girl.
She is in dire need of an apology.
An apology expected from me.

I do suppose I owe her one—
an apology that is, but
I must refrain myself for apologizing about bleeding her
secret. However,
I will ask pardon for the
slaps, the
kicks, the
pulling on her loose curls.

It is because of this that I have destroyed
my own world.

It is because of all this that makes me want to declare
general amnesty
for all the past offenses.

I wake up each day looking even more
pale & cadaverous than
usual, yet when I see how she holds things
together at her own expense, my dead face rises
to the surface.

She showed great resiliency and
that is what I must show in order to
make my world again.

Before recreating my own world,
I shall live an austere lifestyle
where I will not allow myself luxuries,
for she used to be
my one & only luxury.

With this lifestyle my world
will vibrate under the same energy reflected from her.