My name is Summer
And I am a fighter

The day they died I was only one
Left hopelessly alone in my infantile eternity
They fought to win the unwinnable
To breathe their one last scraggly breath
Between two lungs their hearts were pierced
A battle to the death
For war is such a funny thing
A running red river of young men’s pipe dreams
To be a hero

And that was all they wanted
To leave a candy-coated, sunshine and lollipops legacy
Not a broken, battle-scarred army brat
Yet they weren’t the lucky few
The ones who were given that one last hour
That one last day
That one last scraggly breath to whisper in my little ear:
I love you

For eighteen years I prayed to god
For a reduction in the amount of tears
That drip and drop and slow and stop
The beating of so many hearts
I prayed until my heart was an open window
It’s arteries pumping shattered glass through my veins
Cutting me open from the inside
With the memories I never got to make
And the rusty stains on the soldier’s boots
Whose fate is a nine out of ten chance the same as theirs

I gathered then my lion’s courage and my tin man’s thump thump heart
To carry on a legacy that was theirs to start
For the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
I would walk in their scarlet shadows
Amongst the corpses and wilted roses
And rivers of sour hope

And where that river ends
I would build my destiny out of sandcastles by the riverbank
To squeeze my eyes tight as I pulled the trigger
To fight a dead man’s war
To stain the soldier’s boots with fresh rust
To stain my boots
To turn their dream into a reality

And still I prayed to god
My one last string from heaven to earth that hadn’t yet been cut
Holding onto sanity by a thread
Holding onto life amongst the dead
I prayed until they pulled out their scissors and cut my string
And I didn’t pray to god anymore

I felt my tin man’s heart inside my chest
Thump thumping away for no one
For nothing
Straining itself to thump and pump back into my body
Seeds instead of stones
And again I was left hopelessly alone

All my life had been a lie
Ever since the day they died
My heart and soul all black and blue
Bruised as the battlefield bathed in rust
Bruised as the beach when the river washes my sandcastles out to sea
Leaving behind the lump that was to be my destiny
So now I float in that river of sour hope
Until I reach the riverbank
And there’s still that riverbank
Even without my sandcastles there is still that riverbank

That was when I prayed to god again
Bruises can mend
And if bruises can mend so could this piece of collateral damage

That day I took my needle and thread
And started patching the pieces of the world back together
One broken soul at a time
Until the chasm we had dug with hate
Embraced like old friends
And stitched its gaping mouth back together with blue thread and a lot of love

Finally my duty done
I could return back home
With the taste of success sweet on my lips and a twinkle in my eye
My lips that could lift up their corners for a smile again
My eyes that would sparkle like all the stars in the sky
And peace could grow on the battlefield
Out of flowers and stardust and all of the rust
Cleaned off of the soldier’s boots
My heart could pump seeds again
And I would pump seeds into every living thing

So if they’re in heaven
Looking down on me
Tell them I built sandcastles by a riverbank
One for mom
One for dad
One for me
And tell them even though they’re gone
Washed away by the tide
That I am still going strong

And most importantly
Whisper to them as they sleep:
I love you