You Carried the Cross I Wear | Teen Ink

You Carried the Cross I Wear

February 12, 2013
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


Lightning struck the earth in a beautiful array, a vast and marvelous display.

And the trees bent toward each other, meeting in humble embrace to the ground.

Withered, they created a path to the sky — a hill — a mound.

And all the people threw their hands up to cover it all, your mountain, built by the Fall.

The hill you walked on painfully, with feet bare, and on your back was the cross around my neck I wear.

The hill rose higher, you cried, and the crown pressed farther down and you died.

All the while we watched — waited — for the storms to be abated.

And when the lightning fizzled and the darkness came, you stayed there just the same.

When all of a sudden the earth split in two, the fury of heaven unleashed for you.

Your thorns were lifted, your body wrapped, we lamented a king death had finally trapped.

And then I saw, and my heart filled with fear, your hands pierced and you standing near.

A god among men, you walked among us, you came and carried us, you love us.


The author's comments:
This is about Jesus Christ and how he died... and then un-died:)

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This article has 15 comments.


on Jun. 13 2013 at 10:42 am
freeperson DIAMOND, Burlington, Vermont
59 articles 0 photos 230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Have you seen the way he looks at you, the way his expression softens and his eyes are like stars...?" - Ara Weston

I love how you put resurrected as un-died...

on Jun. 4 2013 at 7:02 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Wow, thank you!

on Jun. 4 2013 at 6:15 pm
LittleLadybird GOLD, Carrickfergus, Other
14 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
To be nobody but yourself in a world that is trying it's hardest every night and day to change you into everyone else is to fight the hardest battle a human being can fight, and never stop fighting.

This is so moving!!! I might actually cry....you have an incredible way with words

on Apr. 3 2013 at 5:47 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thanks Rain and Fallen. I'm 16 lol

on Apr. 3 2013 at 3:22 pm
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

How old are you because this sounds like a 1000 year old dude that was thier watching it happen made this its soo amazing and everythnig i am now -speechless-

on Apr. 3 2013 at 3:20 pm
Thecurseofdestiel SILVER, Denton, North Carolina
8 articles 0 photos 19 comments
That..... Is the best!!!!

on Apr. 2 2013 at 7:28 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

wow, thank you! And thanks for commenting on so many of my poetry, it means a lot! :P

on Apr. 2 2013 at 7:22 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

This is absolutey beautiful.. really, this is so pretty. It gives me chills. You've written something wonderful here and I wish more saw this. I know a lot of people who would love this even more than I, and I'm not sure that's possible. Seriously, soooooo great!

on Mar. 27 2013 at 7:39 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Wow, thank you so much! That's the nicest comment I've gotten on a poem! :) :)

on Mar. 26 2013 at 9:02 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I absolutely adored this. I even read it aloud to my family... We've been studying the bible lately. ;) This is definitely one of my favorite poems on the site, if not my favorite. It really struck a chord in my heart, and I love when poems do that!! (: I love how you write!!

on Feb. 20 2013 at 10:34 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

I guess I get what you mean now, I do like the message a lot!

on Feb. 19 2013 at 3:14 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

You're so nice, thank you:) I believe you comments on my other poem, Daniel. It means a lot!

on Feb. 19 2013 at 2:55 pm
InuLover_95 BRONZE, Mena, Arkansas
4 articles 1 photo 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you look through a shattered window, it is not the world that is broken, only your perception of it."
--Unknown

its a beautiful poem and i absolutely LOVE it!!!!!!!! i love how the rythm changes it's freaking AWESOME!!!!!!!

on Feb. 18 2013 at 10:51 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

I do get what you're saying about the last line of this poem. However, I made it out of place with the rest because it carries a different message than the rest of the poem. It transitions from something dark into something hopeful, and it marks a new beginning. But on the other hand, even if something is purposeful in a poem doesn't mean it's effective:) Thank you!

on Feb. 18 2013 at 2:44 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1143 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

  I like the way you've turned a religious event into something so poetic.  Maybe you could've gone with etter word choice plus the last line doesn't meld with the rest.. It doesn't go with the whole rhythm..But on the whole..I like it. Good job. And love the theme !  


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