The words marked on the page “Dear Paul”
The memory of the struggle to write your name
The shivers of the disgust in myself
Blindsided the whole time you were there
I stood tall above you with courage in my fist
I’m sorry for everything I never noticed
I miss the cuddles on the couch late at night
But my faults lead to my quakes
Now so small and discrete
I don’t eat I won’t speak
The blood flows out of my body like a loss of emotion
My hands start to shake and my stomach hurts
I see you and I stare at my feet as they shuffle
Remembering the whispers in my ear and our bare bodies lay close together
The suicide I committed that night was enough for a king and his army to fight
So much strength and power in just a small girls feelings
I took down the palace and all of its peasants
Now I sit here wondering if I killed the prince charming
The one with the armor
Oh dear… dear Paul