I remember that house.
The one, with the old green door, faded shingles, and big colorful gardens
The one with the white lab running in the yard

Where we would find turtles ever morning
When we dug holes deep in the woods and pretended they were our homes
Where I’d swing back and forth on the rope swing, tied to the top of a tree
When my brother and I tried to grow an apple tree with seeds straight from an apple…
But failed
Where my brother and I found a secret trail leading to an abandon ditch
When my cousin Joey shot a toy model rocket into a tree, which stayed there for years
Where we would swat away flies while eating dinner in the summer dusk
When I’d always hear the screechy screen door opening and closing
When the autumn air came in and we would rake up the leaves

Where I’d lay in front of the box TV watching cartoons with my brothers
When my mom would only allow me to wear pink nail polish and not red
Where I used to think our Christmas tree was 20 feet tall, but it was really because I was short
When we would drop Christmas tree decorations, watching them shatter across the floor
Where we would spend hours putting up Christmas light on the house and bushes
Where I learned how to ride my bike on the drive way I played hop-scotch on
When my brother ran away…
to the end of the driveway
Where I used to play in my mom’s closet, hiding in the racks of clothes
When the plow would push all the snow into huge mountains

When my brothers and I would make volcanoes with vinegar and baking soda
Where our dog Sandy ran away
When my brothers and I made a restaurant called “KJA” and served quesadillas to my parents
Where I sprayed Windex in my eye wanting to know what it felt like…it burned
When we would have bon fires in the summer time
Where I would pick berries off the bushes in my yard and squish them in my hand
When James lost his tooth on the white carpet floor in the basement
When Merick accidently broke Keith’s hand playing fake karate
Where Brian still played with Lego's even though he was 16
When I was scared of the basement bathroom because I thought there were spiders in it
When Uncle Vinnie came and hid little army men around our house
Where the eel jumped out of its tank and died on the floor
When Brian and Keith broke the glass shower door playing tag
Where I used to sneak into my mom’s art room and use her paint brushes
When I would run my Barbie dolls over with my brother’s toy trucks
Where I tried to stay up all night and see the tooth fairy and could have sworn I have…
Or maybe it was just a dream?
When we made chalk roads on the driveway and pretended our bikes were cars

Where little dewy spider webs formed on the tops of the bushes
When I would watch my dad climb to the roof and clean the gutters
When I wasn’t strong enough to throw a snowball very far
When I tried to sneak my favorite stuffed animal to school
When James and I tried to play with the stray kittens underneath out deck
Where the pool house had birds living in it

I remember when my mom told me we were moving out of this house
I remember my stuff slowly, randomly disappearing into boxes
I remember watching my mom for hours, wrap glass in old wrinkled newspaper
I remember less laughing
I remember our house growing empty
All the moving trucks, filled with our stuff.

New House
When it took us four years to build
Where it was too big for us
Where we were surrounded by silence all the time
Where it was never filled with furniture
Where we would never even use half of it
When my parents started fighting a lot
Where whenever you talked, there was a repeating echo
I hate this house

Four years we lived in the New House

House for sale!
I remember my mom telling me we were moving…again
I remember the repeating process with the boxes and trucks
I remember my mom being stressed out and angry all the time
I remember my dad being distant.
I remember moving into a very small house, where everything was white, like a jail sell

Then I remember that home, with the old green door and faded grey shingles
I want to go back to that happy place, that home
Wanting to see it one more time with everything the way it was
That’s the place I still call home