All there is is pain.
Nothing more
Nothing less.
I can’t tell the difference between
Night and Day
Up and Down
Right and Wrong.
All there is is pain.

There is a hole in my chest
The size of my heart.
He ripped it out.
He tried to be gentle
But that just hurt more.
He slowly ripped it to pieces.
That hurt quite a bit.
He placed it on the ground
And tapped it with his foot
Until it was smooshed
And covered in dirt.
It hurt like hell.
Then he carefully set
The entire room on fire.
And watched my heart burn
Like it had never burned before.
That hurt most of all.

I’m an empty shell now.
There is nothing left.
If I make it back,
You wont recognize me
Because all the life
Has been sucked out of me.

No Christmas joy
To share with the family.
And the a******
Wished me
Wonderful holidays.
Yeah right.

How am I supposed to be merry
When I have nothing to be merry for?
A day ago, I was nothing but happy.
Now I can barely stand.
Just a stupid controversy
I had to know the answer to.
I couldn’t possibly know the answer
Was against me.
I was blinded
By love
I guess.

But now I have nothing.
Of course I have my friends,
But they aren’t enough.
They could be as two-faced
As some people are.
But a guy who is true.
Who will love me and comfort me
And wont leave.
That’s what I need right now.
I wont be happy
Unless I have a man.

Am I really so dependent?
That I can’t be happy
When I’m single and free?
Do I always have to have
A guy standing next to me?
I hope not.
That would be a horrible life.

I guess I just assumed
That because I liked him
Someday he’d like me too.
And I guess I just thought
That day had already come
And he was just too shy to say.

But I was wrong.
I’m happy for him.
He’s my friend.
He can go off with her
Happy and free.
He can hold her
And love her
I don’t care anymore.

But while he’s having fun
I’m gonna sit in a corner
And rot.
Rust.
Collect dust until I’m noticed.
But I never will be.
Because I never am.

Thrown into the background
As always.
He noticed me
I thought I had a chance.
Because he noticed me
He actually noticed me.
But it was too good to be true.
He was nothing more than a friend

A friend.
I want to hate him so bad
It’d make me feel better.
But how could I possibly hate him?
There is nothing about him I hate.
I love it all.
I could never hate him
No matter how hard I try.

I can’t do this.
No guy could ever like me.
I’ve been turned down
Too many times
By too many guys
I was head over heels
In love with.
It’d be so much easier
On me and on them
If I just wasn’t here anymore.

Don’t worry if I don’t come back.
I’m in a better place
With a slightly better chance
That a guy could actually like me.
Love me even.
Goodbye.