Cold
It seeps through your skin
straight to your fragile bones.
A constant shiver never ceases
Even with the thickest of blankets
Hunger pangs are a distant memory,
Your body surrendered months ago.
No matter how hard you try
Food won’t pass your fragile lips
And though your brain screams
Begging
Pleading with hopeless sobs for a scrap of food
Your mouth remains stitched tightly
You are glass bones
Wired on a porcelain frame
Walking on a tightrope
And a moment from slipping
To the darkness below

You have lost control
Although you are about to burst
You are in a trance
But this trance is about to break
And in a sudden wave of panic,
You realize what you’ve done
And you start to add things up
110 for this
416 for that
50 for those
814 for all those over there
Your number is in the thousands
The high thousands
You are shaking now
You can feel yourself expanding
All those days of nothing,
Of empty
Gone
Wasted
You run,
Run as fast as you can
Run to that room down the hall
The one which you know so well
Your saving grace
Collapsing against the iced tile
And nearly hitting your head on the white porcelain
You are saved
You feel yourself empty
And sit back
Tears stream down your face
As your mind tears you apart
And guilt swallows you whole
You stand up gazing at your reflection
At the jet black rivers which trail your pale cheeks
You are weak
You are a failure

You sit in her office
A woman getting on in age yet not enough to be labeled old
She stares at you
And you squirm uncomfortably
She knows your mind like the back of her hand which is perched around a notebook
And holds the key to your heart and soul
Your deepest secrets
But you are trying
Step by step you can make it
And this is the first of them all
You are no longer fragile and weak
You have seen the sun and can feel it’s warmth glowing through your skin
You are alive again