Sometimes
When I look at certain people-
You know who you are-
A switch turns on
And I feel it tugging at my mind
And at my heart
And at my stomach

The switch makes me hot
I know it’s from the green light
The switch turns on
But only I can see it

Sometimes
When I look at certain people
All I see is their
Perfect skin
Perfect hair
Perfect clothes
Perfect lives

And I forget that nothing is Perfect

I then wonder
Why I am me
Why I bother
To comb my tangled hair
Until it shines like honey
Why I bother to
Spend half an hour
Choosing an outfit
Every day

And then I go to school
And certain people-
You know who you are-
Call me names

I am a misfit
Nothing even close
To beautiful

I try to switch the light off
It is much harder than
Switching it on
But I try until my
Tears are raw
And when I succeed
Instead of seeing what I’m not
I see what I am

I may not be a beauty queen
But do I want to be?
Do I want to fit in among those
Who call me names?

No.
I will shine
Without that green light.