Daydream | Teen Ink

Daydream MAG

July 16, 2008
By Anonymous

I wonder
will our children
have your brown skin
or my blue eyes?

On our first date, will you
open doors for me, or
ask if it’s impolite to kiss?

How will you propose?
Will you spell the question
in sand at our lake, or
utter it, grinning,
as our families watch on?

On our wedding day,
will tears sting your eyes
as you watch me, a white blur,
down the aisle?
Will you whisper your love
as we lie, entwined
in our shared bed?

When we’re wrinkled and old,
will you still take my hand
and say
you knew I was the one
since that day we danced?

All this, while I
watch you from the back row,
your head bent over your desk,
we’d not yet met,
and I wondered.

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This article has 112 comments.

jessica said...
on Feb. 9 2009 at 10:58 am
i do the same thing


i loved it.

on Jan. 14 2009 at 10:04 pm
wow this was stunning! very unique and i bet everyone who read this had a smile

Ishika said...
on Dec. 20 2008 at 12:43 am
i love this poem its one of my faves now are really good

sexygurl101 said...
on Dec. 12 2008 at 5:01 pm
This poem is amazing keep on writing. I love it so much. GOOD JOB!!!!!!!

on Dec. 12 2008 at 3:28 am
amazing poem nicely written and very romantic this is really really really really good.

teflon said...
on Dec. 8 2008 at 1:43 pm
this poem is very intresting. it shows that the outher is looking 4ward 2 the future but still wonders if everything will go exactly the way she dreams it to be.

penguinlover said...
on Dec. 5 2008 at 3:04 am
I really liked your poem. It was interesting and I loved the ending. May I suggest that you put the first paragaraph after the wedding paragraph. This will fit more nicely with the timeline. You have the ages increase of the characters throughout the poem and i think you should stick to that. I loved how the characters grew up. Very good job!

on Dec. 5 2008 at 12:07 am

crich897 said...
on Dec. 2 2008 at 6:25 pm
Well there is just so much beautiful feedback on this poem... maybe it's time for some negative. So, here goes: JUST KIDDING! This is actually a really good poem and I enjoyed reading it alot. One suggestion I have is that in the first line, you may want to put hyphen after that or maybe an extra space between the first and second lines. It just sounds like it jumps into that second line way too fast - there needs to be a pause. "I wonder will our children" just doesn't sound quite right. Take a pause - some time for reflection - after you say you wonder. But other than that this is great. Keep it up!

amberlene10 said...
on Nov. 25 2008 at 5:03 am
i really enjoyed reading this was excellent..i especially loved that whole feeling of mystery..great work..

AlcheMage said...
on Nov. 25 2008 at 12:55 am
That's so sweet!

I know how you feel. Ex-act-ly.

Love it! <3 And well written too, of course!

bella_2011 said...
on Nov. 24 2008 at 11:26 pm
wow this is so much like people i know, and i can also really realte to it. sometimes i wonder the same questions when "he's" in the room or talking to me:)

Caity423 said...
on Nov. 17 2008 at 5:20 pm
Oh my gosh thanks so much to everyone who has commented. It makes me smile every time i read one! I did not expect so much feedback so thank you!

AvJ311 said...
on Nov. 15 2008 at 10:13 pm
i looooooooooooooooooooove this poem it is so unique and so easy to relate to

keekee825 said...
on Nov. 14 2008 at 2:23 pm
omg this is so cute. its awesome youre from chicago i live around there too.

on Nov. 14 2008 at 1:22 am
i loved it!!!!!!! you are such an amazing author!!!!!

alaska girl said...
on Nov. 14 2008 at 12:24 am
this was a good poem. in my opinion i liked it a lot. :D good joPr

chonglee said...
on Nov. 11 2008 at 2:04 am
i love this...this is so sweet. it's definately a great poem that anyone can relate to.

sarahw said...
on Nov. 10 2008 at 3:57 pm
amazing :) keep it up

on Oct. 21 2008 at 11:21 pm
This poem is amazing! i wonder these same exact questions!